Resources for Defending Marriage as One Man and One Woman

And how laws promoting true marriage do not discriminate in an unfair way against homosexuals, gays, lesbians, transgenders, or bisexuals, LGBT 's.

Marriage Reality : How to win the argument by focusing on the good of children.  Excerpts by William B. May,  See below

Catholic Online Resources on
The Meaning Of Marriage – Extensive and High Quality

Free MP3 at Catholic dot Com

Fighting Porn

The Secular Case Against Gay Marriage - PDF, 1 and 2,  Both

This is an article by Adam Kolasinski, who is a doctoral student in financial economics at MIT.  It is one of the best I have read.

Courage
Courage is an international apostolate of the Catholic Church, which ministers to persons with same-sex attractions.
 

Children of gay and lesbian parents write letter of support to
Traditional Marriage, and Dolce, Gabbana

“Sex Change” and Gender Theory
Walt Heyer (rhymes with higher)  underwent a “Sex Change”  surgery.  And he explains the unforeseen problems with those surgeries and how they do not cure the real psychological  issues that lie underneath the emotions.  He made a full podcast interview, which appeared on May 29, 2015, can be heard here: http://www.catholic.com/focus .
An abridged version of that interview is Here.
Transgender Delusion: A Testimony,  Free MP3,    Text
His website is www.sexchangeregret.com

U.S. Constitution’s Preamble Upholds Traditional Marriage, by Dennis Bonnette

Are kids just as well off with same-sex parents? Maybe not, studies say

Meet the Opponents of San Francisco's Archbishop | Matthew Schmitz | First Things

"Sex Change" Surgery: What You Should Know

Discussing Marriage :Bringing Reason and Civility to the Marriage Debate
http://discussingmarriage.org/

https://nationformarriage.org/main/resources

http://www.nomblog.com/

http://www.marriagelibrary.org/
 

Meaning of Marriage

The Catholic Church, Children and Same-Sex Parenting
by Jennifer Roback Morse

“Secure attachments between a child and each of his or her parents builds the foundation for the development of the child’s personality. In the child’s little world, mother and father are the most powerful and important people in their lives. Parents act as “stand-ins” for God himself.”
 

What Marriage Is and Isn't, and What to Expect from a Redefinition
Even the new definition of marriage will quickly be deemed discriminatory against other sexual perversions

An atheist identifies 'the central problem with the gay marriage agenda' 
by Carl  E. Olson 

Archbishop Cordileone states the case for preserving the definition of marriage 
[Listen to a Podcast of this article]
Archbishop Salvatore J. Cordileone

Are you a child of a painful divorce? Tell us your story

Marriage, Same-Sex Relationships and the Catholic Church  
by Bishop Thomas J. Paprocki

 Bottum’s Up on Same Sex Marriage
By Jennifer Roback Morse

Scroll down and see
Protecting Marriage as a Conjugal Union Is Not Analogous to Racism
 

Al Kresta has a great
Marriage Resource Page
with lots of links including these

How can we talk about it?

Greg Popcak, co-host of More2Life on Ave Maria Radio, says the focus of
discussion should be on children.

Catholic Stand has put together a list of
answers to questions commonly posed by advocates of same-sex marriage.

Bill May of Catholics for the Common Good says that it’s time to
stop defending marriage and reintroduce it.

Gay Marriage advocates often say that love is without gender.
Check out Al’s response to this argument.

As well as this article
We speak the truth in love to all on same-sex marriage.

See more links here
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=948265

Pope Francis Defends Human Nature Against Gender Radicals

Priests must not be silent on marriage referendum

St. Pope John Paul II & Pope Benedict on Gay Marriage:
‘Clear and Emphatic Opposition is a Duty’

Congregation For The Doctrine Of The Faith :
Considerations Regarding Proposals To Give Legal Recognition To Unions Between Homosexual Persons

Bishop’s Exorcism Quotes Pope:
Gay ‘Marriage’ is From Satan, 'Father of Lies’

Trent Horn,
Lighthouse CD - How to Talk About Same Sex Marriage

 He gives great effective tips. For example, instead of saying that
a child needs A mother and a father, say that
a child need His mother and father.
This is so much easier to defend and so much to the point.

Book - How to Talk About Marriage and Same-Sex Unions

Articles  Sharing Faith at Gay Parade ,       Our Agreements

Here are some good resources on fighting porn.
 

10 Myths About Pornography  - You Tube - Matt Fradd:  Website

Catholic Diocese of Arlington
                                -      Free Pamphlet

Neuroscience has proved that porn is literally making men’s brains more childish.
Seriously.

Porn Derails Deep Relationship Instincts

One video compares porn to drug addiction. It explained how a mouse would keep pressing a lever for more Dopamine drug, while ignoring food, female rats, etc until the rat eventually died.

The Science behind Pornography

Purity Is Possible

Integrity Restored
 

President Of Catholic Bishops’ Conference

Supreme Court Decision On Marriage “A Tragic Error”

The U.S. Supreme Court decision, June 26, 2015 interpreting the U.S. Constitution to require all states to license and recognize same-sex “marriage” “is a tragic error that harms the common good and most vulnerable among us,” said Archbishop Joseph E. Kurtz … president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). … Mandating marriage redefinition across the country is a tragic error that harms the common good and most vulnerable among us, especially children. … Jesus Christ, with great love, taught unambiguously that from the beginning marriage is the lifelong union of one man and one woman.    (USCCB)

The Meaning of Marriage by Irish Bishops 2014
http://www.catholicculture.org/cultu...m?recnum=10767
 

[selected quotes]

Married love is a unique form of love between a man and woman which has a special benefit for the whole of society…. To seek to re-define the nature of marriage would be to undermine it as the fundamental building block of our society. …

God’s Plan for Marriage

The Book of Genesis … Catholic Church clearly teaches that people who are homosexual must always be treated with sensitivity, compassion and respect. …

The debate at the core of the call for ‘same sex marriage’ is not about equality or about the separation of a religious view of marriage from a civil view of marriage. It is about the very nature of marriage itself and the importance society places on the role of mothers and fathers in bringing up children. With others, the Catholic Church will continue to hold that the differences between a man and woman are not accidental to marriage but fundamental to it and children have a natural right to a mother and a father and that this is the best environment for them where possible. It is therefore deserving of special recognition and promotion by the State.

The meaning of marriage

Marriage is a unique relationship different from all others. … orientated to the generation of new life.
… ‘marriage of a woman and a man is a fundamental building block of society which makes a unique and irreplaceable contribution to the common good and to society as well. It is therefore deserving of special recognition and promotion by the State’.

Why is marriage so important?
…
This committed, married love provides a stable and nurturing environment for children.

… A major challenge arises from any proposal which seeks to redefine the meaning and purpose of marriage on which the family is founded, … Any such proposal is based on the assumption that the institution of marriage … has nothing unique about it and on the assumption that marriage can be stripped of that social standing without obscuring its irreplaceable social role.

… is no longer to be seen as the foundation of society.

Protecting marriage is a matter of justice

…. Without protection and support for the unique place of marriage in society, the State could, in effect, deprive children of the right to a mother and father.
Religious and non-religious people alike have long acknowledged and know from their experience that the family, based on the marriage of a woman and a man, is the best and ideal place for children. It is a fundamental building block of society which makes a unique and irreplaceable contribution to the common good. It is therefore deserving of special recognition and promotion by the State.

Proposals to change the meaning of marriage effectively say to parents, children and society that the State should not, and will not, promote any normative or ideal family environment for raising children. It therefore implies that the biological bond and natural ties between a child and its mother and father have no intrinsic value for the child or for society. As Pope Francis stated recently, ‘We must reaffirm the right of children to grow up in a family with a father and a mother …

The Sacrament of Marriage

… The love of God is eternally faithful and reliable. Married love seeks to reflect that love as a faithful, unbreakable relationship. Because it is a sacrament, marriage brings about and deepens the love it reflects. With the couple living the sacrament of marriage, their children are enriched by their sharing in God’s love.

…. Every family has its problems.

But instead of beginning with the problems and challenges, we might begin by reflecting on the meaning of marriage as a sacrament and the blessing that it can be to the couple and to society.

... The love of Christ for us, which marriage reflects, led him to betrayal, abandonment by friends and agonising death on a cross. But that was also the path that led him and leads us to the fulfilment where ‘Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more’ (Rev 21:4) and where God will make all things new. …

we ask that the principle of equality not be undermined by applying it inappropriately to two fundamentally different types of relationship. Marriage is a unique relationship different from all others for a reason.

The family is experiencing a profound cultural crisis, as are all communities and social bonds. … Marriage now tends to be viewed as a form of mere emotional satisfaction that can be constructed in any way or modified at will. But the indispensible contribution of marriage to society transcends the feelings and momentary needs of the couple….

Marriage Reality : How to focus the discussion.  Excerpts by William B. May

Witnessing the reality of marriage

William May writes that the state has a big stake in protecting traditional marriage . .

Mozilla’s Brendan Eichs was not the first person to lose his job for supporting marriage, but he was the most senior and most prominent to do so. Attacked for having given $1,000 to support California’s Proposition 8 six years ago, he was forced to resign 10 days after becoming CEO.

With judges redefining marriage across the country and an increasing campaign of intimidation by secularists, how can faithful Catholics witness the truth about marriage …

More fundamentally, why are we talking about same-sex couples in the defense of marriage anyway? How can that help reveal the reality of marriage? The term same-sex “marriage” was a trap laid by opponents to frame the debate. To support marriage, one must be against the sincere aspirations of same-sex couples. Notice, measures to protect marriage are framed as bans on same-sex “marriage.” That leads judges, legislators and many in the public to think we are simply motivated by prejudice and bigotry against homosexuals. Never use that term.

So how do we express the reality of marriage in non-religious terms? Marriage cannot be defined, only described. How it’s described is critical to how it’s understood. The Catechism describes marriage as “the intimate community of life and love” (#1603). Pope Benedict XVI described it as an icon of the Trinity, and St. John Paul II as a communion of man and woman leading to a communion between parent and child. Many remember the “love” part but have forgotten “life.”

When the reality of God’s plan for creation was recognized by the state, a civil institution was created that specifically united children with their mothers and fathers. This is a fact that doesn’t depend on revelation or belief in God. It simply is. Not all married men and women have children, but every child has a mother and father. …

The attack on Brendan Eichs was so outrageous that people on both sides defended him. Rather than being silent, what if he said, “My concern is not about relationships between same-sex couples, but the fact that redefining marriage eliminates the only institution that unites kids with their moms and dads. Our moms and dads are part of our identity. Today, there are too many fatherless children with tragic human consequences. Half of children born to women under 30 are outside marriage — and 71% of high school drop outs, 85% children with behavioral disorders, 63% youth suicides, 71% teen pregnancies, 70% juveniles in state rehab, 90% of homeless and runaway children are all from fatherless homes. How can anyone justify eliminating this institution?”

Obviously these questions are just the beginning of a new discussion. We don’t know if such a response would have saved Eichs’ job, but it would certainly have clarified his motivation and perhaps even started the discussion about the reality of marriage that must take place.

Life Matters: Explaining the Reality of Marriage to Family And Friends

By William B. May

The breakdown of marriage has reached crisis mode. Today more than 50 percent of births to women under 30 occur outside marriage. According to sociologists, the increased numbers of children in poverty, in fatherless homes, and who experience abuse and neglect all relate to changing attitudes about marriage. The phenomenon of the breakdown of marriage has spread rapidly into the segment known as Middle America and is now touching nearly every extended family.

Frequently Asked Questions by Engaged Couples

Why Married Parents Are Important for Children

Some answers from the Social Sciences:

1. Children raised in intact married families:
   are more likely to attend college
   are physically and emotionally healthier
   are less likely to be physically or sexually abused
   are less likely to use drugs or alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors
   have a decreased risk of divorcing when they get married
   are less likely to become pregnant/impregnate someone as a teenager
    
2. Children receive gender specific support from having a mother and a father. Research shows that particular roles of mothers (e.g., to nurture) and fathers (e.g., to discipline), as well as complex biologically rooted interactions, are important for the development of boys and girls (Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles, 2006).
    
3. A child living with a single mother is 14 times more likely to suffer serious physical abuse than is a child living with married biological parents. A child whose mother cohabits with a man other than the childís father is 33 times more likely to suffer serious physical child abuse

Read more …

We need to use language that reveals truth instead of vulnerable vague terms that allow others to reinforce their lies. We need to continue the fight till marriage once again becomes a privileged institution that unites children with their mothers and fathers.”

To advance the conversation without making ourselves vulnerable to misinterpretation and slanderous attacks we will do better to avoid using the following terms;

same-sex marriage
gay marriage
natural marriage
traditional marriage

Instead, we should use the term “Marriage Reality.”  See below

We dare to be different and defiant in a positive way.

Here are a few examples of this approach:

• We define ourselves by being for marriage reality, not by being opposed to the lie of “same-sex marriage.” The “gay rights” movement wanted the debate to be about them. Why cooperate by using their terminology that obscures reality? Resist. Become defiant. Being opposed to “same-sex marriage” made us come across as uncaring and insensitive in front of our children, and risk being stereotyped as bigots or full of hate. Instead, respectfully demand an answer to the truth revealing question, “Do we need a civil institution that unites kids with their moms and dads?”
   
• We are for marriage reality, not “traditional marriage,” which portrays marriage as a construct based on the past and not about the future. We know that marriage is not a man-made institution but is an integral part of God’s plan for creation as the Church teaches. “Marriage reality” more precisely express how marriage is described in Scripture and in the Catechism. Let’s communicate this.
   
• We are for training and encouraging the formation of local support groups to educate people on how to spot tricks and lies that confuse our children, how to bring clarity to every conversation based on reality (truth). For example, a tactic opponents are teaching our children and friends is to shift the conversation to families with same-sex parents. That is subterfuge. In reality, that has nothing to do with marriage, the only institution that unites kids with their moms and dads.

… This is not merely about learning how to win an argument, but witnessing the truth so our family members can understand it and repeat it.

Fight harmful ideas with realities

For example, the Church does not teach marriage is good for children or children deserve or need a mother and a father. These are ideas that lead to conflict over what a child needs and what is good rather than revealing truth about marriage. Instead, the Church teaches the child has a fundamental human right to be born into a family with mom and dad united in marriage because it is there that the child can discover his own identity. That is not just an idea, but a fact- a reality.

The Catholics for the Common Good Way

4.     Always be in solidarity with victims (never in opposition to perceived opponents or victimizers). (see Achieving Solidarity with Victims through Christ)

For example, in the work of evangelization of culture for marriage and family, who are the victims of the breakdown of marriage or the distorted view of love, marriage, and human sexuality? 

• Children who are deprived of the right to be born into a family with a married mother and father,
• Children and young adults taught falsely about love, marriage, and human sexuality that negatively influence the choices they make in life.

5.     Become love, even to our detractors

Reality-Based Thinking, An Antidote for Relativism

Questions that Focus on Reality
Consequences that no one would desire.

Would you like for your children to be single parents?

Would you like for your grand-child to grow up in a single family home?

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