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A Journey From Confusion to Peace
One afternoon while delivering my mail route for the Postal Service I had a distinct image in my mind of a very happy baby. And it seemed as though he was trying to convey to me some gratitude. I found it very odd that I would be imagining something or anything about a baby. There were no babies in my life. Not physically, emotionally, or otherwise. There were no babies in my relatives families or in my friends families. Since, it was totally unrelated to anything about my life I dismissed it. And then, the same image of a baby again appeared in my mind. It seemed so odd that this baby seemed to want to thank me for something. But, thanking me for what ? It was totally unconnected to any aspect in my life. So, I again dismissed it. And then, it happened again, a third time. The really odd part was that I could not connect it to my imagination. It seemed like a thought coming into my mind from somewhere outside. Since again, it made no sense to me, I assumed that I had no choice but to dismiss it again and move on. Then about four or five months later I recalled that strange occurrence when that thought intruded into my mind from a source outside of it. And then, I recalled an experience that I had had about six months prior. Six months prior to the thoughts of that overly joyful baby, I had gone to pray peacefully at an abortion mil. I realized that many girls who got abortions did so because they felt trapped, and that there was no one in their life that was there to help them. So, I went and prayed. While I was praying there two women drove up into the parking lot. I had felt moved by God to walk over to the driveway just earlier. I saw a woman about forty years old escort a young pregnant woman who was about twenty years old. Several times the twenty year old would stop in the parking lot as they were walking toward the entrance. Each time the older woman would coax the twenty year old back toward the entrance. But, as the younger woman stopped time and again, it became obvious to me that she really didn’t want to be there. The older woman was clearly pushing her choice onto the twenty year old. The sad irony of the “Pro-Choice” agenda did not escape me. I wanted to reach out and help this twenty year old who had made it obvious that she didn’t want to be there. I felt helpless, but I wanted to do something. So, I said the only thing that I knew which was most true. I said, “God loves you and your baby.” Now the forty year old acted like I was her biggest enemy. She shot me the finger and said, “F___ You!” To be frank, I was shocked by her behavior. My own mother would never have used that kind of language and would never have shot the finger to anyone. I could do nothing but pray. So, now recalling both events, the encounter at the abortion mil and the overly joyful baby made me start thinking. Was it possible that the two events were connected? Could it be that the younger woman had won the battle of wills with the older forty year old? Did she reject the abortion option and give birth to her child? Was God blessing me with a vision of that happy baby being embraced by his mother when he was born? Maybe so. It could have happened that way. I remember that baby being really happy. Then, I thought. Yes, it could be like that. But then, maybe an even greater miracle had happened. Let me step back for a second from my story and interject some wisdom I heard from a holy priest. He had said that when he counsels a woman who has had an abortion he tells her that she has denied her baby two important things. When a child is born he or she is given a name. Second, she is denying her child the right to be baptized, that is, to be born a new into the kingdom of God. No one has a right to go to heaven. That gift to go to heaven is so great no one could ever earn it. So each person needs to be baptized. In Baptism we receive the gift of grace that Jesus won for us by His life, death, and resurrection. So, the priest tells these mothers to give their child a name and to ask God to baptize their child.
Maybe the choice of that older woman prevailed that day over and against that young mother. And maybe she did have an abortion. And just maybe, God helped her to see that there is no sin so big that he cannot forgive in His infinite mercy, the mercy that was won for us by the shedding of His Most Precious Blood. Perhaps that young mother was moved to go to the Sacrament of Confession to receive God’s forgiveness. And just maybe, that baby was up in heaven and looking down and was so happy to see that his mother was being reconciled back into the life of grace to live free again in the family of God through this Sacrament. And maybe that baby’s biggest hope was to see his mother be saved by God’s grace, and now he was so happy at the prospect of being reunited with her in heaven when she dies.
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